Most of my children have young children of their own. Still, as I reflect back on the traditions developed while raising my family, I had to smile at the memories so thick I had to brush them from my mind so I could remember more. Like dominoes, one memory pushes another into consciousness.

When my children were small, some of the traditions my husband and I initiated were: having family prayer each night. We would sing," Let us gather in a circle and kneel in family prayer to thank our Heavenly Father for the blessing we all share." This would get everyone to settle down and ready to pray. There was a feeling of wholeness and love as we knelt together. No, it wasn't always quiet and loving, but it was worth the effort for the times that were.

 We often read together as a family.  I started having a tea party every month, and we would dress up as characters from the book we were currently reading. We all made up English royalty names for ourselves and took to addressing one another as Lord so and so and Lady or Baroness. We would have a lovely discussion of the book and have "tea" and cookies. Of course, we emphasized our best manners, and we drank our tea with our pinkies up!

Another tradition was family camping trips. We loved camping in nearby areas, hiking, and rockhounding. One year, I decided to make a family flag. It has a family crest representing my family's joining with my husband's, creating a new family. There is a symbol of the tree of life on the crest. Our motto is in Latin, “Quaerite Prime Regnum Dei”.  Which means- Seek ye first the kingdom of God. I chose this as our motto because I wanted my children to learn that it was far more essential to seek the things of God instead of the riches and pride of the world. There is also a symbol that represents each member of our family at the top of the flag.

When my girls became teenagers, they tended to be moody and dramatic.   It was during this time that I happily developed the tradition of "smash hugs." They were “too old” to hug and love on sometimes, so at night just as they had settled in bed, I would run into their rooms and jump, smashing them on their bed, while yelling "smash hug" as I did!   At first. I am sure it surprised them, and then they would moan and groan at me, but they always hugged me back and smiled before I left their room.

So why do a share this all with you? I want you to pause and think of some traditions you have in your current family or perhaps as a child growing up. What do they mean to you? What did you learn from them? Why are traditions essential to have?

I believe that forming traditions helps bind us as and family. It creates teaching moments by emphasizing a practice like family prayer, reading as a family, and loving them with smash hugs. We are saying to our children with our actions that we love them, that they are important, and we are willing to build a tradition to enforce our feelings.

The great thing about traditions is that you can start now, today. What is something you what to enforce in your family? Maybe, it is being together more. Try by starting a tradition of eating one meal together. Make it fun, eat all finger foods, sit on the floor around a low table by candlelight, have a backward dinner, and have dessert first! Focus on your traditions that will help to improve your family relationships and build bridges of communication.

There are also harmful traditions that once perceived need to be stopped in our families. What does a harmful tradition look like? It might be a tradition let has simply outgrown your family. For example, the tradition of putting your children to bed at 8am probably needs to change as they grow older.  The tradition of listening to my children say their prayers quietly slipped away, which crack my mommy's heart a little, but that was necessary too.  The tradition of not speaking to one another when you are angry is a tradition that I have realized cause a lot of bottled-up feelings in my home.  Now I am working on correcting and helping my family be more vocal about their feelings in constructive and intentional ways.

Traditions can engender ways to establish a culture of love and memories that will progress into future generations.  However, beware of those traditions that you have outgrown or are simply not helpful to your family relationship. Chose ideas to nurture togetherness and root out the bad that promotes rigid and toxic emotions. Most of all enjoy making memories and teaching values through the glorious practice of family traditions.