I raised 5 daughters, so I didn't see firsthand the way boys play compared to girls, but my girls did have differences in how they played. I had a couple of "tomboys" that preferred climbing trees and playing with mud and bugs. They all liked to play house, and sometimes the playing house morphed to being chased by ravenous dinosaurs. Sometimes they would go exploring in our back pasture and look for a family of foxes. I really didn’t give much thought to whether they were playing more like girls or boys. 

To me, they were just.  . .  playing and having a glorious time of it!

So what's the big deal? Is the way we raise our children making them fit into a role gender stereotype?  The roles of men and women have been defined since the beginning of time; however, those roles have changed. The women’s suffrage movement that began with the right to vote and then swiftly climaxed in the '70s with the feminist movement had a harvest of positive and negative fruits. I am genuinely grateful for the brave women that stood up for our rights because there was a time that women really had no rights. We couldn’t own property; in fact, we were our husband’s property. Education of women was frowned upon, employment was labor-based and underpaid compared to men. The freedoms I have now I know I owe to those who fought for them.

I disagree with trying to make women and same as men because we are not. I believe men and women are created equal, but we are not the same. I celebrate that fact!

I don't want to be like a man. I think it's right that a woman gets paid for doing the same job as men for the same pay rate, but I disagree that women should be allowed jobs that we are clearly unqualified for. For example, being a firefighter. Firefighters must pass a physical test if they can lift and move a heavy ladder, use an ax to chop through a door.  They must also carry people out of a burning building with heavy equipment and protective clothing on.  Can you imagine? You are stuck in a room, you’re in imminent danger, and a  female firefighter takes ten minutes longer to get through a door because she simply lacks that strength. Instead of getting carried out of a building, you are pulled by your feet because the women firefighter doesn't have adequate power to move you. On the flip side, there are jobs that women perform better. It has been proven that women are better listeners and arbitrators, which are excellent skills for a political leader. 

 It is frustrating and confusing to know how to raise our children with these current gender norms. I want my girls to be independent of a social construct that dictates how a woman should think, act and discover their future without those social parameters. Also, I want them to realize how wonderful it is to be a wife and mother.  Ignoring the world’s opinions that choosing a be a mother is choosing a lesser course of life.   The idea that by electing to be a mother, I am consigning myself to a demeaning, subservient role. That kind of thinking makes me so sad. Being a mother is a noble and glorious pursuit! I learned so much about myself and life being a mom. The joy of forgetting oneself and just serving unique little humans as they grow and see the world for the first time was magical!

Perhaps you noticed at the first of my blog, I mentioned that a had some tomboys. Now when I hear the tomboy, I see a cute girl that likes more boyish activities. My question is, why is there a cute, socially accepted term for girls? Then suppose a boy expresses interest in traditionally feminine activities like sewing, baking, or crocheting. In that case, he's made fun of by peers for being girly or gay? Why?  I wish we could have the freedom to discover our strengths and gifts as human beings and not be put into a box of either girl or boy appropriate. I want to be clear, I don't believe in gender-neutral; men and women not the same.  I  don't think we need to genderize so many things in our society.

What do you think? How can we create a society where behaviors or talents don't have to be labeled and genderized?  But also give us the freedom to celebrate our unique attributes of being a woman or a man.